Misanthropy Pure

Misanthropy- noun: hatred, dislike, or distrust of humankind.

I hate humanity.

This perfectly describes the last few months of my life. Humanity is so depraved in its mindset, that I can't get away from these terrible feelings of hatred I feel towards them.

I have no Love.

If I hate humanity and the depraved nature of fallen man so much, and I am imperfect in nature just like everyone else, how does God love us still?

Let me repeate: I hate Humanity.

Every minute of every day I am told to look out for myself, care for myself, get ahead for myself, and the minute I start doing that I feel absolutely terrible. The minute my own wants and needs come above others I know I am not loving at all. How can one be selfish and love at the same time?

You can't!

I hate, yes I abhor, humanity in its selfish deprived nature. I do my best to be selfless, always doing my best to be nice, polite, serving others, and it gets you stepped on and crushed, spiritually and mentally. I am sick of meeting so many fake people and hearing of their ideas about what God wants for them, or what they think God is.

God already is.

Your opinion of him if won't change the fact that you are a sinner and need his grace more than you could ever possibly imagine. Without grace I am terrified of what I am as a human. Horrible, Hate-Filled, Loathsome, Un-loving, Disgusting, Unworthy.

I don't deserve grace.

Humanity doesn't deserve grace, and if you think you don't need it, you need to be thrown from you high horse you pharisee.

I can't even express in words how thankful I am for Jesus, the Cross, and God's Unhuman, Miraculus, Perfect, Generous, Complete Love.

I still hate Humanity.

But hopefully through grace, and love, I will someday Be able to not hate it nearly as much as I do now.

Good day,
Austin Death.

Nailed.Dead.Risen.

So lately a musical connundrum has been brewing in my head.

WhiteChapel vs. Impending Doom

This is an interesting battle... It goes kinda with my earlier posts about death metal music, and why I love it.

So anyways, I have been thinking about how people can get so mad at me for listening to such "death" inspired music, and I thought I would show everyone a great comparison. Lately I have been comparing the bands Impending Doom, and Whitechapel. Two very similar "deathcore" bands, that to the untrained ear may sound like the exact same band, with few differences. This is the Connundrum:

Impending Doom has some of the most amazing positive and spiritually heartfelt lyrics I have read in a while, that talk about Christ and his love for us. This is simply brilliant, cause this is what they sound like:
www.myspace.com/impending

On the other hand you have Whitechapel. These dudes make some killer tunes, and basically the same with their lyrics... Very death/gore inspired, and they are pretty much ridiculus. They are very hate filled, and are just plain goofy when it comes down to their lyrics in my opinion.
www.myspace.com/whitechapelmetal

So the next time you jump to conclusions about someones music from hearing it, just realize that not all music is death inspired if it sounds like it. Some of my favorite bands of all time you couldn't distinguish from secular bands at first listen.

Hope you enjoy,
Austin Death.

Its A Kind Of Magic...

When I can go in to the DMV after just waking up, and being able to pass both the written and Driving portions of the Drivers license test. Brilliant!!

Backstory: So if you live in Denver and you are 18+ and get in 2 accidents in 3 yrs, you have to go get your license re-evaluated within the time period.

So yesterday I had to go and rock the written test... And today I rocked the driving test... Without even studying...

It was pretty awesome. Its weird how intimidating everyone at the DMV is when your 15.

But 5 years later they all were really nice and social...

I guess I am just getting old.

Oh well, Life is nice.

Later,
Austin Death.

PS. Listen to Coldworker, and Cult of Luna... Genius.

Deliver Us...

From false teachings...

That is what the American church needs to pray for...

Seriously...

Romans 8 is seemingly taken out of context every time I hear it preached...

Mostly Romans 8:37

37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

This more than Conquerors verse is said so often in positive mental inspirational sermons to the masses now lets look at the whole context. I believe the verse changes a little when you see the bigger picture.

Lets look at the whole paragraph Paul writes to get the full context: Romans 8:28-39(I have highlighted what I believe are a few key words)

28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It looks to me as if Paul is saying alot, not just that we can be more than conquerors because God is on our side... This is one of those paragraphs that as I have re-read over and over it helps me to see God more like he actually is rather than what the church paints him to be.

I do agree that Romans 8:37 is an inspirational verse, but the rest of the chapter should be read to get the whole context of the verse in particular...

I just want people to start reading their Bibles more when people are teaching from the pulpit, because if you don't get the entire context of the verse, then you are missing the point of it. Its just hard for me to listen to these feel good sermons nowadays with select cliche verses that are sculpted and shaped to the way people want their sermons to go... I just want people to start reading and comprehending what Paul meant when he said stuff like this.

I feel like this is a mouthfull, but hopefully you will read it, and understand it a little more.

Thanks for reading,
Comments and discussion is encouraged.

Austin Death.

Are you Serious?

Why is being able to read people sooooo hard?
Mostly women.
I always get mislead.
I hate it, but at the same time I know its how God made me, so I guess I will own it like there is no tomorrow.
I don't need another girl that is a friend... I have plenty of those haha.
But seriously...
I am so sick of alot of things in general in society.
I am not a fan of alot some things right now...
Vent complete...

Later,
Austin Death.

Ps... Every blog title is the name of a song or album I am listening to currently. I hope some can eventually start to pick a few out. haha.

ARMADA!!!

Mmmmm...

Keep of Kalessin...
Some awesome streamlined and ferocious Black Metal.
Gorgeous sounds and textures. He even does some crazy singing in some songs too. Epic and beautiful at the same time. Man I really like this band.

I have been trying to figure out why I love black metal soooo freakin much lately, and I think I have found out why.

PASSION

Many black metal album are so ferocious and intense, and they invoke this sense of cacophonic urgency that can only be done if you have such a passion for playing that type of music.

I can literally feel their passion that they have through music. Whether it be hatred, love, or just insanity, I can feel it, and it makes sense in a way.

Now many bands just sound that way because it sounds cool, but I think that it takes alot more passion to play something loud and fast, than to sit back and strum some chords in a rock/pop band.

For me, that is why I listen to what I listen too.

Oh yeah BTW, my band(Endless Yeti) has a new Black Metal type song that we will be unveiling on Friday at our show at Lifespot.

A link to our page can be found there.(approx) ------------------------->

Check it out to see what I am talking about.

Later,
Austin Death.

Blackout...

So yeah.

Its been a weird few weeks...

Good though.

I think I have hit a weird point in life.

I got a job... after 2 years haha.

I officially need a break from school. I haven't been this burnt out on it in a while.

I am really wanting to move out, but don't want to have to deal with being an adult.

I really want to just be free from alot of stuff, and go on tour.

That would be awesome.

But I know it will be a while.

I am officially over this whole thing called women.

But at the same time I am not.

I really just wish I didn't have to try so hard and get seemingly nowhere in alot of things.

I just need patience... Even more than what I have been given.

More patience is what everyone needs. At least some of the time haha.

Anyways, I thought I would give a kind of update.

So if you see me and I seem distant, its cause there is alot goin on.

So don't worry.

Hopefully I haven't been writing this blog for no one.

Anyways,

Goodnight.
Austin Death.